My first children’s book reading… a whole new level of terrifying
I know I was nervous at my wedding. I wasn’t nervous that my bride-to-be wouldn’t show up and leave me awkwardly standing in front of all of our family and friends, or that all of the moving parts of our wedding we so meticulously planned might go wrong—I was simply nervous at the weight of the situation. You only get ONE day in your ENTIRE LIFE as your wedding day. (Well, providing you are fortunate enough to find your perfect mate and only marry once in your life.) That kind of pressure is enough to mess with the psyche.
Since our wedding I truly don’t think I’ve felt any case of nerves that could compare… not a job interview, not speaking in public, not performing for a crowd. In fact, aside from the birth of our child (okay, that was all nerves for me and I didn’t have to do anything but make sure that our baby didn’t hit the floor when he popped out), I haven’t felt the butterflies in my stomach that used to accompany so many events in life. I suppose that comes with maturity—er, more like a vague improvement on immaturity in my case, but still, at times I’ve felt like I’ve truly mastered it all.
That is, until my recent book reading at our child’s preschool.
This was a first for me, and I’ll confess, even if I faced that situation every single day, I don’t think I could ever get used to that innocent sea of twenty-three little faces staring up at me, expecting me to hold their attention for more than thirty precious seconds. How do teachers do it? And why on earth are we paying them so little? This is the MOST DIFFICULT job in the world!
Nevertheless, I prepared. After completing the mockup of my book, Sherborn Sam, The Other Groundhog, I tried reading it to our child at home. He didn’t want to hear it until I came to his class for the BIG DAY to read it for Groundhog Day. I tried reading it out loud to myself. No good. I couldn’t stop thinking of all the questions the kids would inevitably have for me. I did my deep breathing exercises, and while Mike Brady’s advice of picturing your audience in their underwear didn’t apply here, I did picture our son’s adorable little friends liking what I was reading, and politely listening to my every word.
It’s not as scary as it seems…. class reading of Sherborn Sam - The Other Groundhog, Feburary 1, 2023
Turns out, I didn’t have to picture anything. After taking my seat on a tiny wooden chair and the enthusiastic introduction from the teacher, I began reading. A silence befell the little audience. No one moved a mini muscle. No one played with their shoes, or pulled another kid’s hair. They all just sat, and stared… that was so much worse!
Was I butchering the words? Could they not understand the story? Was my book terrible? Did they think I was just some weird tall guy that absolutely did not belong in their special circle?
As the hairs on the back of my neck continued to rise (much to the amusement of my wife who sat by my side), I surged ahead, creating subplots that weren’t even in the book and making jokes about my poor illustrations—any attempt to end the silence. When we got to the end, I dared a look up. All of the children were smiling. They were still paying attention, and, for whatever reason, they seemed to like what I had written. When the children clapped and the teachers moved on to passing out snacks, I exhaled a huge sigh of relief, expelling the air from my lungs I’d be holding for months. Even with all my nerves, and all my painting mental pictures of sheer calamity, it had been a success.
Part of this blog, I had promised, was to include some self-help motivation to guide you along your own life path. Really, we can all relate to the idea of being so terrified at the thought of something it consumes us, until we’re nearly paralyzed by that fear.
Here’s what I learned:
Kids are not scary, they’re just little people who have a LOT of opinions
Some things are not the scary mountain you make them out to be… in fact, most things
Preparing for life can only get you so far, you still have to DO what you set out to to… that’s when you really experience life
Apparently, I’m not the awful, scary grownup I make myself out to be
If you’d like me to come read a book at your child’s school, let’s just say I’m going to need a lead time—two years to prepare feels apropro. But, I’m willing to do it again. Because those twenty-three little smiles when I got to the end of my story? Priceless doesn’t even begin to describe it.
Here’s to my first children’s book reading… hoping for many (well, some) more to come!
@jmichaelsrocks
Author. Blogger. Not-so-Scary Grownup